So here I sit... Boxes lining the place I once called home. At one time I would have said my life is in these boxes. Well not my actual life, but mementos and memories of where I've been. Today has been an emotional day. I've cried my make up off more than once and in the end thought au natural was the way to go.
So if my life is contained in these boxes, why does my heart ache with a loss that feels almost physical?
A piece of me will always stay in Brunei. The memories I will take, but that is all I will have to remind me of the amazing people who have become like family to me. At this point I have less than a week in which I have to face the final farewell. These boxes serve as a reminder of the reality that is just around the corner. Each day is a series of lasts... the last time I'll shop at the grocery store... the last time I'll drive the school run... the last sunset beach walk. Before I know it, it will be my last goodbyes. As I say those words emotions overtake me and I feel such a loss. I've had many beautiful words and tears shed for me. I always felt being left is harder than leaving. But now I don't know. How do I board the plane knowing some of these amazing people I've been blessed to call my friends will be but a memory? Last night as I once again reached for my box of tissues, Evan my 10 year old shared some wisdom far beyond his years. He told me what he does. "Don't think about the darkness Mommy. Think about the light where we are going." It is true, I have many things to look forward to and I am excited for what is to come. But I can't help looking back at what I had. Some of these friend are irreplaceable and I will miss them daily. But looking to the light, I know Brunei will serve as an appetizer of things to come. Home is where the heart is. My home will always be in the beautiful land I was born. My life I left behind awaits me. But I will not be the same as when I left. The beautiful gift of these friends have made me into a better me. As I continue in this journey of life, I know I will soar with wings like eagles.
A piece of me will always stay in Brunei. The memories I will take, but that is all I will have to remind me of the amazing people who have become like family to me. At this point I have less than a week in which I have to face the final farewell. These boxes serve as a reminder of the reality that is just around the corner. Each day is a series of lasts... the last time I'll shop at the grocery store... the last time I'll drive the school run... the last sunset beach walk. Before I know it, it will be my last goodbyes. As I say those words emotions overtake me and I feel such a loss. I've had many beautiful words and tears shed for me. I always felt being left is harder than leaving. But now I don't know. How do I board the plane knowing some of these amazing people I've been blessed to call my friends will be but a memory? Last night as I once again reached for my box of tissues, Evan my 10 year old shared some wisdom far beyond his years. He told me what he does. "Don't think about the darkness Mommy. Think about the light where we are going." It is true, I have many things to look forward to and I am excited for what is to come. But I can't help looking back at what I had. Some of these friend are irreplaceable and I will miss them daily. But looking to the light, I know Brunei will serve as an appetizer of things to come. Home is where the heart is. My home will always be in the beautiful land I was born. My life I left behind awaits me. But I will not be the same as when I left. The beautiful gift of these friends have made me into a better me. As I continue in this journey of life, I know I will soar with wings like eagles.
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