::Painted Cracks::

Here I sit in the wee hours of the morning. What has prompted me out of sleep? The chatter of the insects, the rain against the roof, or possible God himself. Whatever or Whoever it is I have this urge to step out of my comfort zone and share something about me with you. I am a Christian and have been on somewhat of a God quest for many years. However, I don't hide this about myself nor do I let my lamp shine for all to see. You see my perfectionistic side of me thinks I need to know all about God in order to be a good model of what a Christian should look like. But unfortunately my life and me for that matter are not perfect. I have many thorns in my side that perhaps keep me pressing for more wisdom from God. I have had a few moments in life where it has been near impossible to doubt that God exists. I have also had far too many times when the mysteries of God seem so hard to reach and leave me doubtful. But what I do know to be true is that each life from the outside is painted in such rosy colours that it causes others to doubt that any cracks exist. We all wear masks in order to hide the real person beneath as if it were something that needs to be hidden. My life may look rosy on the outside, but I too have struggles that at times seem unbearable in day to day life. So I believe that the author of my life has blessings and pitfalls around each corner in order to bring me to where I'm meant to be. If nothing at all this brings me hope. I'm here for a reason. So as I reveal my vulnerablilities out of obedience, I hope that is was meant for someone to read at a moment when they need to hear it.